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Philippines Dating vs Elsewhere
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How is dating in the Philippines different from other places?
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How is dating in the Philippines different from other places?
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This is all a matter of personal perspective and my experiences here. None of this has a basis of fact. It's different in that the dating scene is quite conservative and "traditional." It feels a bit immature, to be honest. One the biggest barriers is that most women already have one or two kids, and these women are only like 18 with a toddler, or 25 with a 9 year old. Some guys might see that as a problem, some might be ok with it. There have been many times when people find out I'm with someone and the immediate reaction is to ask when we are going to get married and have kids. I know it's in good fun, but there is this sense of seriousness behind it. Or people will say to me that if I end up staying with her I'll be an instant father. Most often when I ask a girl out, she will bring a friend or relative, which is fine by me, on several dates to chaperone. I still can't believe this is still a thing. After two dates I insist on just having the two of us go on a date. That's when I get to know the person I'm really with, rather than who she is around family or friends. Many relationships don't last too long. I feel like there is an expectation of all-out effort on the guy to make the relationship happen without much in the way of anything being reciprocated. Don't expect texts back or calls. It feels like the guy must initiate everything. This type of "relationship" building is weird, it's ineffective, completely one-sided, tedious, and can get boring real quick. Hence why I say many relationships don't last too long. I don't like playing games, but it's a game all right. The rules of engagement are obscure from a Westerner's point of view. Unless, of course, you flash money around. But that's not the kind of girl I'm trying to be in a meaningful relationship with. Where I'm located in the Philippines, dating can be challenging in that there aren't many amenities close by to go on a date. There aren't any fancy restaurants, or any restaurants, to sit down and have a nice meal and chat to get to know each other better. The women rarely drink, if ever, so hitting a bar isn't a great option, either. Guys looking for something conservative will have a much easier time dating than a guy, like me, looking for someone more progressive.
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The thing that amazed me was that either they last for a couple of hours or they amazingly last for 6+ years. The reason for this was that though I grew up in the PH, I spent the other half of my life in North America. Around here, people usually date for a couple of months before breaking up. Another thing that is completely different is that they have “manliligaw” which directly translates to suitors/lovers. Though I interpret it as one person woos the one they like and they try to win them over. It can take from a couple of days to years (if the other party is stubborn). Usually, the thing that I experienced here in NA is when a guy asks you out on a date and then you're officially dating. I know it sounds similar, but it really isn't.