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Meeting Filipina for 1st time
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I’m a white American man, about to visit the Philippines for 3 weeks with my Filipina girlfriend. Can anyone offer some general advice/tips/pointers for me?
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Good responses below. One significant cultural difference (which can be misleading because Filipinos are so Americanized) is that, like most/all Asians, Filipinos are still a non-confrontational lot. Hence, candor will not be appreciated. People won't say no outright, but a lukewarm yes is equivalent to a no. Don't get into arguments with your girlfriend's relatives over beers. One of the nastier habits Filipinos picked up from our former Spanish overlords is that Latin amour propre. If you are perceived as having slighted the honor of an inebriated Filipino man, things could get ugly and violent. Conversely, you would be expected to have a few (or a few too many..) drinks with male relatives, friends of the family, and acquaintances of your girlfriend. Refusal or failure to do so will be cause for insult. If on the other hand you don't drink alcohol, you probably can get away with it but to paper over this difference, offer to buy a round of drinks. Another unfortunate side-effect that is alluded to by another respondent is a widespread perception among the more financially challenged Filipinos (and your girlfriend may have poorer relations, regardless of her own immediate family's economic circumstances) that as a white American, you are loaded. This will result in various impositions on your finances, at the very least you will be expected to pick up the tab when you go out with your girlfriend's family and friends. At worst, you'll get hit up for money, either in the form of dubious business propositions, or outright appeals for cash. You will need a cast-iron stomach to grin and bear these impositions, and the diplomacy of a Henry Kissinger to turn down these requests without antagonizing someone. The opposite problem is if, as you mention, your girlfriend's family is loaded. In that case, there will be certain expectations (don't expect that your hosts will always foot the bill – at some point you'll feel compelled to buy a round of drinks, or dinner, and it won't be at McDonald's or the neighborhood turo-turo..) In any case, good luck! p.s. being Irish, I assume you are Catholic. This is a good thing if you are practicing, because invariably there'll be some conservative maiden aunt who will hound you about your religious devotion and your intentions toward her beloved niece.
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Random tips. Cultural etiquette: try not to voice out your critiques about the local practices and culture. Some of them will appear weird and downright offensive. It's not that you can't. It's that you may not be getting the full story on first impression. Once you have the entire thing down, you'll see when and where critique can be welcome. Cultural etiquette: Lots of people will say hi. Just greet them back. It doesn't have to be super personal. They're just wishing you a good day. Everyone does that. Cultural etiquette: When in a locale, try to speak the vernacular of the locals. People appreciate you learning the local language. That would be Tagalog in Manila, Cebuano in Cebu. Don't try to speak to someone in Cebu in Tagalog. They still hate that they're forced to learn it in school. You'll get friendlier interactions speaking in pure English. Tipping: tips are not expected, but they're useful in spare amounts to get yourself known to people who will interact with you often. Health: Never drink the local water. Always ask for bottled water and wipe the drinking surface often before drinking. Each Philippine locale has its own bacterial flora and you WILL get gastroenteritis if you get into the middle of that germ war. By and large, Filipinos have the antibodies to deal with it. You won't. Don't risk it. Places to visit: all the giant malls. Possibly Manila's coming Wonder of the World, every city in the metropolis boasts some kind of megamall. There are less shopping arcades and more public piazzas. Go in, walk around, maybe buy an ice cream cone. Places to visit: Panglao Beach in Bohol. El Nido on Palawan. Uslob in Cebu. Places to visit: Mount Pinatubo – the recently-erupted volcano lay waste to hectares of land, covering entire townships in pyroclastic material. Few people got hurt, so it was not as bad as it could have been. Today, the unearthly terrain brings 4×4 fans and mountain bikers alike.