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Why Americans move to the PH
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Why do many people (including the Americans who left the US) say that living in the US is hard and that leaving the country was the best choice they ever made?
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I’ll start with the definite truth of my own life: Leaving the US was, without a doubt, the best decision I ever made. I have said this out loud and reflected upon it often. In short – it had to do with identity and personal happiness. I was always an energetic child and a hardworking student. Motivated by accomplishments; incredibly obedient; afraid of getting in trouble – a teacher’s pet type. I was generally nice to people around me; just wanted to do well and get on with my day. After elementary school, I started going to private school – for a better education and hopefully better access in life. During that time, my Black, middle class background became the center of the world. I still did well in school, but I wasn’t spoken to as if I did well or was capable. I was made to feel inadequate at every turn, even in the face of great accomplishments. As a teenager, this racial alienation was emphasized through social and dating dynamics. All teens have teen problems, but I wasn’t just a moody, insecure kid – I was a Black kid in a sea of White and there was nothing to be done about that. There was no amount of patience, kindness; weight loss; working out; grooming; hair perming – that would make me less Black. And you can’t talk about that to anyone; no one can relate; you’re unceremoniously accused of “bringing race into everything”. A very lonely reality. Throughout the entire secondary school process, my intelligence was always doubted and I was constantly insulted. My school offered Chinese – they tried to tell me I wouldn’t do well because it’s “a very difficult language”. Within a year, I had top marks. I once had a teacher tell me my writing was so bad I probably had a learning disability. (I’m about to finish my Masters with distinction in England, and I’ll be starting my PhD in the fall). By high school, I decided to spend a portion of my senior year in China. It was like night and day from my home school. Suddenly, I was smart again. Without a concerted effort of teachers telling me how stupid I was all the time, I was flourishing. I got straight A’s in AP Calculus – a course, among others, my home school wouldn’t let me take because it would be “too hard for me”. When it came to college lists – I was told I couldn’t get into any of the schools on my list; I shouldn’t aim higher than my State school. Mind, at 17 I was a varsity athlete; president of thespians; worked on a number of school plays; danced on the school team and studied Martha Graham independently; first chair clarinet; played alto sax in Jazz band; fairly skilled in drawing and painting; spoke Chinese and had a high honors GPA. So – what made me less than my peers? In China, it was the first time anyone (other than my parents) had ever told me I was pretty. Looking back, I was still quite young; so a lot of firsts would be happening around that time anyway – but it was definitely different than in America. In America, I was just ugly. People might not say that to my face – but it was reflected in certain ways. Beyond that, college was the same for socialization. I tried to be cute, preppy and peppy like my White friends – but I wasn’t. I was sad and defeated. And still had some discernible, inferior, human status. So again, in college, I went to China. And again, I was able to find normality, humanity and love. After I graduated college, I went back to China to work. I soon met my current partner and we’ve been together six years. We moved to England together last year so I could continue studying to change careers. I’ve done incredibly well and I’m just happy. In summary: I personally felt my intelligence and beauty were never appreciated in the US. I was suicidally sad; until I could no longer deny that I needed to live life a different way. My partner is Greek and it feels very freeing to not be a part of the radical, racialized, American fervor. Also, biracial relations aren’t questioned in England the way they are in the US. Life doesn’t feel so heavy. My days are nice. I have a nice home. A nice partner. My efforts are recognized. I’m just, whole.
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I worked in the IT industry from the time it was in its infancy. I progressed up the ladder, making good money and becoming a workaholic in the process. Always striving and stressing for more money so I could buy more and save more. Till I started approaching age 50. Then I was laid off around the time of 9/11. Even with loads of experience, I could no longer find a decent IT job. I was considered “over the hill”. So I started investing and selling real estate. While I loved being my own boss, it was hard work. Particularly in the 2007–2010 housing market crash, when it got about 3x harder for half the number of home sales. More stress than ever! I started burning through my retirement savings well before I was ready to retire. Finally I surrendered to the lousy housing market and moved to Mexico in 2011. My limited American dollars went about 3–4 times further there. I no longer had the stress of having to work, and the anxiety of closings. I had a gorgeous climate, a beautiful rental home, and ate great food – essentially living like a king on a very limited (by USA standards) budget. Since then I've lived in Bali and the Philippines. Same story – great climate, beautiful nature, cost of living 1/3 to 1/4 that of the USA. My 2 bedroom, new, furnished condo with a pool, a knockout view of coconut groves, the ocean, and the next island over amazes me every day. It's about half the rent of a decent 1BR apartment in any busy US city. I eat fresh, locally-produced exotic fruits and vegetables all month long for what Americans spend weekly in the produce department. I drink clear mountain spring water – free. Health care is (amazingly!) compassionate and affordable – so much so that I haven't paid for private health insurance since I retired. It's far cheaper to come out of pocket, since I am blessed with great health; and the cost of doctors and prescription drugs is so low. What do you figure I've saved in health insurance premiums since 2011? 20K? 50K? I don't know, but it sure has contributed to a whole lot of fun and travel. With some of my free time I'm laser focused on my life's purpose – which adds fulfillment and meaning to my life that I never had in the good ole high-stress USA. Some of my time I train for an upcoming 500-mile pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago in Spain, by walking upwards of 8 miles a day in the nearby mountains. Some of my time I scuba dive and snorkel among beautiful coral, and colorful tropical fish and sea turtles. And I take naps. Sometimes long ones. I'm a permanent American expat who has no intention of ever setting foot in the USA again. It's much more enjoyable reading of all the racial hatred, violence and dysfunctional politics from my safe, secure, affordable piece of paradise half a world away. Follow me on Twitter or Like Upgrade Your Lifestyle on Facebook for occasional reflections about life as an art form. Namaste!