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Pinay & Indian Boyfriend
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I am a Filipina and I have a boyfriend from India. He is Hindu. Do I have the possibility to marry him despite of our culture?
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Depends on how open-minded his family is…and how willing he is to fight for you. I married my Hindu husband in 1999…back when being seen walking the streets together already elicited scandalized looks from his tribe. Indians are very….hierarchical (you have to be on the same caste, same economic-level), clannish (although they can marry someone of a different state, they would prefer someone from the same state who shares the same dialect). We were colleagues, and everyone got shocked when they found out we were dating. His people thought it was just a non-serious fling before he gets arranged for marriage to one of his own. My husband, back when we were still dating, even broke off with me, citing the reason that I will never be accepted by his own culture, could never fit into the Indian society if we settle down in India, and not knowing his language would make me un-hireable to be able to continue with my career in India. He was mostly vegetarian too at that time, and only ate chicken occasionally. His whole family is vegetarian. Three months after he broke it off with me (and after seeing a girl his parents were trying to arrange him with), he came back and proposed. We eloped and had a simple Catholic wedding…informing his mom just a week prior to the wedding date. Fortunately for me, as scandalous as our elopement was, his relatives/clan had a few love marriages already prior to ours, and his family is very modern and open-minded. They embraced me as one of their own soon after, and I never received any ill-treatment from anyone. We also decided to live and raise a family in Canada…a more even-ground for us, so we dont need to choose between India and the Philippines. Did religion get in the way? Not in our case, as hubby and his family are lukewarm Hindus (they allowed him to marry in a Catholic church, and would sometimes join me in church for Sunday masses…so that speaks a lot abt how open they are). Our marital spats didnt have anything to do at all with religion…but yes, some cultural mis-communication does happen from time to time. It really all boils down to how much you are willing to fight for your relationship, and how supportive his family is of your decision to marry.
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People are afraid of the unknown and in interracial marriage, we are the feared unknown. My circumstances are a bit different than yours but I do feel that being married to an Indian woman I might be able to answer this question. The first question you need to ask is how serious is your boyfriend about getting married, because if he is then he would find a way to marry you. Indians do love their children and sons hold a special place in their lives so if their son wants to marry a woman he loves then even if she is foreigner sooner or later they would accept you. When it comes to you , you would be questioned with regards to your intentions. You would be questioned about your sincerity. it would be difficult. It is never easy to question beliefs and laid down rules specially when they date back to thousands of years as is the case with Indians, In India when people arrange a match as it happens in arrange marriages they think of the best case scenarios, a lot of quirks and shortcomings are forgotten and glossed over, being an outsider you would not be afforded that chance. But if your partner is strong and you both love each other then its just a matter of time. When you both would pursue a family together then there is a little chance that they would reject you, just show them that you are serious about the marriage and would keep your promise. At least in my case that worked. You would have to be thoroughly respectful, and do not mention religion. Please remember, they do not object to you as a person they object to the unknown. Become familiar with them, talk to them and show them that you are sincere . If its a good family they would accept you for who you are. credit: The insights of my wife came in handy.