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Filipina, Thais & Foreigners
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Why are there so many Filipina and Thai women marrying foreign husbands compared to other countries in the world who are just as poor?
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There are in fact many Philippine women marrying foreigners, because the women to men ratio in Philippines. And of the relatively few men, many work in other countries, and send money home to support their family, brothers, sisters, parents and only come home for a few weeks every few years. Thats why many women search for a possible partner from other countries. While the total number of Thai women geting married to foreigners is not a very high number (compared to Philippines or other countries) There are two reasons why some Thai women get married to foreigners, what causes attention, but the actual numbers are not that high. There is a redlight tourist industry in Thailand in almost all touristic centers. Most of those girls, offering their services are from nearby border reagions of neighbouring countries, who just make use of the open borders to aquire Thai nationality to be able to work in Thailand. Aditionally many members of the poor minority population of the northern – and southernmost – Thai regions also come to the tourist centers for the same trade. In Thai society, those women are outcasts, also by their own family, even when often the family gets much of the money those girls make. When those girls reach their 30 s, almost no Thai would accept them as partner, and many of those girls are practicaly forced to marry a foreigner, mostly one of their former customers. Another group of Thai women to get married is a certain number of elderly women. Due to statistics, Thai men have a much shorter live span than women. Therefore at a certain age level, there are many single women, but no men, because many of their husbands died. Now there is a movement of retired foreigners from Europe and America to move to Thailand to live theyr last years in that country. And geting married to a Thai helps a lot to not be lonely and to overcome the immigration conditions of Thailand, and also to buy land and house. And those Thai women also find a partner, and often also material support in their older age. Also those Thai women are well known for being very loyal and attached to their partner, as long as they are treated with respect and care.
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I can speak for the Philippines, not as much for Thailand. Let me state up front that I’m married to a Filipina, but she was in the US working as a nurse when we met. I do know a lot of American/Filipina couples, many of whom met online or whatever while the girl was still back home. There are a few factors that I think really make Filipinas very attractive to men in other countries, particularly the US, Canada, and western Europe. First, English is a first language in the Philippines and is spoken by about half the population. The half that doesn’t speak it tends to be either much older or folks who really live off the grid. There are a lot of places in the Philippines where people live without modern luxuries. For people who live in the cities, English is common. Without saying too much here, a lot of signage in the cities is in English, government forms are often in English (my wife’s birth certificate, for example, is straight English), etc. English is very common on TV, although usually mixed with Tagalog. Tagalog is the other most common language (and there’s some effort to call a common form of it “Filipino”) and it’s also spoken by about 50% of the population. The end result is that you can speak English there and have as much of a chance of being understood as speaking the most common native language. American TV shows are also common there, so there’s wide exposure to American culture. My wife watched The A Team and Dallas growing up, as I did. Filipinos are generally fond of American culture and Americans. This leads to: Second, the Philippines is probably as culturally close to the West as you can get in Asia. Why? Well, 300 and something years of Spanish occupation. The country is mostly Catholic. There’s been a US military presence there since before any living Filipino was born. Little kids still call me “Joe” on the street. Third, the women are beautiful by American/European standards. They have dark skin, but not real dark. Just brown. They come with a built-in tan. But there’s another side to this coin. They think white guys are nice looking, and of course they think if they have a daughter she’ll have light skin (big big deal in most of Asia). Fourth, the Philippines is a poor country but with decent internet access. So, women who frankly don’t have much of a choice but to live in poverty can get on the internet and find some guy in America. To them, he’s rich. I’ll be blunt and state that a lot of them get over here and find out they’d have been as well off back home. American guys can save up and look “rich” in the Philippines for a couple of weeks on a couple grand, but not give her the life she’d like when she gets here. And, to continue being blunt, some guy who would not be attracting attractive women in the US can land a 7 or 8 from over there – a woman who, all else equal, would be far out of his league. This effect is also seen with 50 year old men and their 18 year old wives. Again, all else equal this doesn’t happen often. Fifth, kids. What I mean is single mothers. It’s nearly impossible for a single mother to date and marry in the Philippines. American guys don’t care as much. So sometimes they have to go overseas to find a mate. Finally, I’ve seen others mention this elsewhere but screwing around is a national sport in the Philippines. Many women just put up with unfaithful men. But many would rather not risk it. All that said, I really don’t recommend the whole “meet over the internet and marry some girl from 8000 miles away in another country”. I also don’t recommend the whole “meet over the internet and marry some guy from 8000 miles away in another country”. (See what I did there?) Why? Let’s start with the guy’s side. First, this guy tells the truth: If you find a woman on the internet she’s probably from the lower classes. The main impact this will have is on your wallet, because it is assumed that you are their ATM. Okay, slight exaggeration. But many families expect a monthly allowance, and any emergencies will have them calling. They think you’re “rich” so they won’t have any qualms about this. (Without being too personal, my wife is middle class and this has never been an issue, but I know people for whom it’s been an issue) You can find plenty of people complaining about this online with a Google search, including people who ended up divorced. If she’s from the lower classes, she may or may not have much of an education. Again, not a deal breaker for most, but it’s often difficult for them to get a job above minimum wage right off. And it’s compounded by difficulty speaking English. She probably doesn’t know how to drive, either, so you’ll have to teach her. They are crazy about “light skin”. Skin whitening products abound over there. Here we have tanning lotion. There, they have sunblock with skin whitening agents. So, you may or may not get her to the beach in a bikini – be forewarned 🙂 Most of them don’t save money. The inflation rate in the Philippines is in the double digits, so putting money in the bank makes about as much sense as putting it in a toilet. And flushing. Nobody has leftover money there, anyway, so there’s no investing and no saving. You will have to teach her about these things. “Retirement” in the Philippines means you go live with one of your kids. And Filipino food – well, there’s a reason you don’t see tons of Filipino restaurants around even though Chinese, Thai, Japanese, Korean and even Vietnamese are popular. You’ve been warned 🙂 In reality, they have some really good dishes and a lot of stuff that just makes you wonder. Dinuguan – Wikipedia To be honest, any time I find a new American guy at a Filipino party where dinuguan is served I trick them into eating it. If I’m in a particularly mean mood I’ll get them to eat the intestine stew. Callos Other than that, Filipinas tend to make great wives as long as you take care of them. They’re really family oriented, loyal, oh I could go on here. If you find the right one you’re set. For the other side – ladies, please be *very* careful about meeting your dream guy from America. You think you’re poor and even if he doesn’t have much in America you’ll be better off, right? Wrong. This is a very different place. I’ve known of guys who brought fine women over here and tricked them in various ways – ways that are really easy when you don’t know anyone over here and don’t really know him and only see him through a camera. I can’t tell you all the stuff I’ve seen – we’d be here all night. Let me give you a few real life stories: Guy had been married 6 times before, the widowed 62 year old Filipina was wife #7. He was wheelchair bound and lived on $1300/month fixed income, a large amount of which went to rent. He was finding women on the internet since there is literally no way he was going to meet anyone in the US anymore. His small social circle knew he was a controlling jerk. When she went to the store she had to carry a small walkie-talkie so he could make sure she didn’t go anywhere else or talk to anyone. She managed to snag a business card that a friend of mine had put on a bulletin board in a small market, and when she finally escaped to the women’s shelter in town she called him and ultimately was united with a son in California. She didn’t know anything about the jerk she’d married until she got to the US.The guy is an engineer, which is a pretty big deal in the Philippines. (My brother-in-law is a real engineer (civil) and the title is used there like we’d use “doctor” over here. He went to university and passed boards to get the title.) So, when the girl saw he was an engineer she was suitably impressed. He promised her a garden wedding and she invited her family and friends to the garden wedding. She was divorced with a couple of kids so finding a guy in the Philippines probably wasn’t a choice. Turns out Mr. Engineer is a “quality control engineer” at a factory. In case you’re wondering if that’s “civil”, “mechanical”, “electrical”, or “chemical” engineering – no. He’s not an engineer. In most places in the US he wouldn’t be able to legally use that title. He also didn’t have money left over for the garden wedding after he bought her plane ticket. She humiliated herself to marry some guy who lives in the middle of nowhere (no job prospects for her) and isn’t happy. She’s financially no better off than she was there.He works an entry level job at Walmart in his mid 50s. I don’t know what she thought she was getting in to as he was able to visit there a couple of times before they got married. She probably thought he had a good job. He has no real assets and stupidly spends what little money he has left after paying the bills. She would like to leave him but can’t since she has literally no education and can’t work beyond unskilled jobs. When I say “no education” I mean it. I was in a market with her one time and she had $50. She didn’t know what she could buy because she couldn’t do basic addition. She wasn’t of low intelligence – she literally had never been taught math. The right guy would get her help in this area – Mr. Wonderful doesn’t care. And, yes, we’ve tried.Some ladies I know met a Filipina in Walmart one day wearing a sweater in the middle of the southern summer. Not common. They told her in Tagalog to meet them in the bathroom, and she did. She was married to a police officer who beat her regularly. She was wearing a sweater to cover her bruises. She had to get out of the restroom because he was watching her and would wonder what was up. Very controlling. They saw a few months later that she fell down the stairs and died, and he was able to have her body cremated the next day. (In case you’re not catching on – she didn’t really fall down the stairs).I have more stories. I’m going to leave it at that. Ladies, seriously, if a guy is trying to attract women from a poorer country there are two possibilities, both of which can be true: He’s unable to attract women where he is, either due to the fact that he has a crappy job, has personality issues, etc.He prefers to find a woman who’s far more attractive than anyone he can possibly hope to attract here.Think long and hard about it. I know many couples who do well, many who get by, and many where the woman feels like she got cheated. And, worse yet, she’s 8000 miles from home with no family and no real way to get back home. And nowhere else to go. She’s stuck. Hope that explains it.