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Dating & Bringing Friends
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When taking a girl on a date in the Philippines, why does she always want to bring her friends along?
lechonlover
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This is your girl who happens to be from the Philippines but this doesn’t apply for every girl from here. Personally, I am against this conduct and I am sure a lot of Filipino girls I know would frown upon this. There are four things I’m considering in her behavior: Shared culture per Socioeconomic bracketThe dynamics between the two of youThe dynamics between her and her friendsTheir perception of youFilipinos can be really close with their social circles, yes. However, we can’t make this as an excuse for her habit of including her friends in all of your dates and having you pay for everyone’s expenses by associating it with Filipino culture in general. The culture here varies from one socioeconomic bracket to another. If she is doing well financially, if she is an independent woman self sufficient for her own consumption, she would most probably place higher value in the dignity of bringing something to the table. In cases if poorer women in the Philippines, having a foreigner as a boyfriend or partner (usually financially stable and a lot older) is not unusual. For many, it signifies a boost in their socioeconomic status having somebody financially stable to provide for her, thus, if she is surrounded by people in the lower socioeconomic bracket as well, this is very appealing. If the Filipina partner is generous in nature, she would want to “share her blessings”. This also comes easy because she does not know what it entails to spend money she did not work for, thus, the practice of bringing her friends become frequent. We can say that if you differ in the way you are oriented in life she will not see the value of money as much as you do. It is common in the Philippines for the man to be the provider. This is rather expected too. For some, it is also expected that you spend on their other relatives as well or share financial burden, like when someone gets hospitalized, depending on how well you do financially than the others. The dynamics between the two of you play a big part in this as well. If you are the pamperer and she is the “princess” then it doesn’t come as a surprise that she expects you to come her way. Filipinas are charming in nature, no wonder you are happy with the relationship. But if this set up is draining you then you should communicate this with her. I am almost certain that once you communicate this with her, she and her friends may not take it easily at first; or they will wonder. Make sure to be simple for their level of understanding and also lay out your reasons clearly so they will understand and no negative opinion to be created in her social circle. If she is truly in love with you, she will have no problem with you establishing your boundaries with regard this matter. If she strays, then you know what your relationship’s foundation is and how it will withstand in the long run.
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How long have you been living together and how old are you both? She may not have been quite ready to settle down yet. You do need to tell her you don’t mind her friends coming out with you but you won’t be paying for them anymore. I suspect their attendance to your nights out will drop off sharply when they understand you mean it and they will have to pay for themselves. When you want a romantic date tell her that you just want it to be the two of you that night but don’t try stopping her seeing her friends other times. remember if you have an issue in your relationship you should talk to your partner about it the two of you are the only ones who can resolve it